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Reforming "Scrooge!"
During this festive time of the year we try to surround ourselves with fun, laughter and people that make us feel warm and loved. The holidays are famous for bringing out the best in people. But they are also notorious for sometimes bringing out the worst.
With all the joy and goodwill in the air it’s hard to believe but there will still be those occasional “Scrooges” aimed at bringing us down, whether by accident or on purpose. When we encounter “Scrooge” it is natural to want to shun them steering clear of their infectious attitude or even worse - retorting back. I encountered one such “Scrooge” one day during the holidays while standing in a checkout line.
I was at the dollar store picking up some candles and miscellaneous items to go with my Christmas decorations. I had perused through the store, picked up what I needed, and was now standing in the checkout line. I was next to pay for my items.
The customer in front of me swiped her card, paying for her purchases, and had requested cash back. When the cashier tried to get the money the cash register drawer got stuck. It would not open no matter how hard he tugged and hit every button on the register.
I was next in line and there was an old man behind who had struck up a conversation with me in the meantime. He was making small-talk about various things like he had stopped by the Dollar Store because he had a sweet tooth, and how cold it was outside, etc. Most everyone including me had 10 or more items to purchase. The old man was purchasing one item…peanut brittle. He said he hadn’t had it in years and was afraid it might break his teeth but was willing to take the chance. The old man was slow but engaging with cheerful facial expressions. He was enjoying our conversation; all the while I had one eye on the commotion at the front of the line with the stuck cash register drawer and the other eye on the line building up behind us. I could tell everyone’s patience was beginning to wear thin.
The cashier eventually called over the manager who persisted for another ten minutes using every tool they could get their hands on to open the cash register drawer. Finally he too gave up and decided to open a different register. He made an announcement that everyone was to move over to his register starting with me and the old man behind me.
Immediately, a woman who was about 7 people back moved to the newly opened register to be the first in line. The manager observed this and to my delight told her, “this woman was ahead of you”, and ushered for me to move forward. At the managers’ directive, she snapped, “Well I didn’t see anybody moving very fast to get into this line so I should be next.”
She’s right! She had moved so quickly none of us had time to get over there before she squeezed to the front of the line!
The manager persisted that I was to be next so she reluctantly moved back to the number 2 spot and let me in. In the interim, the old man with his peanut brittle was still trying to make his way over to the new line. By the time he got there instead of being second in line he was at the end. He didn’t say anything as if he expected to be pushed to the back. By this time I was pretty irritated with this woman. Her selfish attitude and the fact that my 5 minute stop had now turned into 20 minutes had me on my last nerve.
My initial reaction was to let that woman have a peace of my mind about her rudeness, and how she butted in, and that we’d all been waiting a long time too and so on. However, at that juncture a small voice reminded me that I had a split second to make a choice. I could run my mouth and be as selfish and condescending as she was, I could choose to say nothing and just get on with my business, or I could decide to be an example of goodwill. In that moment I could do something that was reflective of the anger, stress, and frustration people are experiencing in the world, I could choose to be silent and just let “it” happen, or I could choose to do something that would reflect Christs love and the “reason for the season”.
Either way, everyone witness to this incident at the dollar store that day was going to remember it and possibly be talking about it for the rest of the day, week, or anytime it lent to their conversations with people in their lives. I could choose that they would remember this incident as - “Ha! you get what you deserve” attitude, a passive-aggressive attitude -”I wish somebody would have said something to that woman”, or I could defuse the anger and frustration with kindness so the incident, although frustrating, was remembered in a positive and caring attitude.
I looked at the manager, took a deep breath and removed my basket from the conveyor belt, then calmly said, “The gentleman in the back has one item and he can go ahead of me.” At those words all of the people in line responded by stepping aside, including the pushy lady, while the old man, beaming with amazement at being brought to the front of the line, slowly made his way to the front. The manager rang up his peanut brittle. The old man paid for his purchase, turned and thanked me and went happily on his way.
Then…an interesting thing happened; I watched as everyone in line, one after the other, stepped ahead of the woman who had pushed her way to the front. And as they did this, she retreated to the back of the line quietly and submissively without saying a word. It was as if peace and understanding was brought to this frustrating situation with a very small act of kindness.
I have often thought that the old man was an angel, unawares, sent there by God to teach me that “a kind word turns away strife.” Proverbs 15:1 I also think it was to show the others present that day that kindness brings peace and joy. And, isn’t that the “reason for the season”?
We have a choice every day, multiple times a day, to do the right thing… to bring peace to others, to not seek revenge, to not vindicate ourselves and our position through anger, selfishness, or the “need to be right”. The right thing isn’t always the easy thing nor does it always feel good at the time. I would have much rather barked back at that woman and embarrassed her. It would have felt good for the moment. However, I don’t think the pleasure I would have captured in that moment could equal the lasting impression on myself and others that was imparted through a gentle response that day.
You and I can choose to bring harmony to situations instead of strife, even when we are the ones who are being mistreated, thereby exemplifying the true meaning of Christmas. You see…kindness has the power to reform “Scrooge”.
With all the joy and goodwill in the air it’s hard to believe but there will still be those occasional “Scrooges” aimed at bringing us down, whether by accident or on purpose. When we encounter “Scrooge” it is natural to want to shun them steering clear of their infectious attitude or even worse - retorting back. I encountered one such “Scrooge” one day during the holidays while standing in a checkout line.
I was at the dollar store picking up some candles and miscellaneous items to go with my Christmas decorations. I had perused through the store, picked up what I needed, and was now standing in the checkout line. I was next to pay for my items.
The customer in front of me swiped her card, paying for her purchases, and had requested cash back. When the cashier tried to get the money the cash register drawer got stuck. It would not open no matter how hard he tugged and hit every button on the register.
I was next in line and there was an old man behind who had struck up a conversation with me in the meantime. He was making small-talk about various things like he had stopped by the Dollar Store because he had a sweet tooth, and how cold it was outside, etc. Most everyone including me had 10 or more items to purchase. The old man was purchasing one item…peanut brittle. He said he hadn’t had it in years and was afraid it might break his teeth but was willing to take the chance. The old man was slow but engaging with cheerful facial expressions. He was enjoying our conversation; all the while I had one eye on the commotion at the front of the line with the stuck cash register drawer and the other eye on the line building up behind us. I could tell everyone’s patience was beginning to wear thin.
The cashier eventually called over the manager who persisted for another ten minutes using every tool they could get their hands on to open the cash register drawer. Finally he too gave up and decided to open a different register. He made an announcement that everyone was to move over to his register starting with me and the old man behind me.
Immediately, a woman who was about 7 people back moved to the newly opened register to be the first in line. The manager observed this and to my delight told her, “this woman was ahead of you”, and ushered for me to move forward. At the managers’ directive, she snapped, “Well I didn’t see anybody moving very fast to get into this line so I should be next.”
She’s right! She had moved so quickly none of us had time to get over there before she squeezed to the front of the line!
The manager persisted that I was to be next so she reluctantly moved back to the number 2 spot and let me in. In the interim, the old man with his peanut brittle was still trying to make his way over to the new line. By the time he got there instead of being second in line he was at the end. He didn’t say anything as if he expected to be pushed to the back. By this time I was pretty irritated with this woman. Her selfish attitude and the fact that my 5 minute stop had now turned into 20 minutes had me on my last nerve.
My initial reaction was to let that woman have a peace of my mind about her rudeness, and how she butted in, and that we’d all been waiting a long time too and so on. However, at that juncture a small voice reminded me that I had a split second to make a choice. I could run my mouth and be as selfish and condescending as she was, I could choose to say nothing and just get on with my business, or I could decide to be an example of goodwill. In that moment I could do something that was reflective of the anger, stress, and frustration people are experiencing in the world, I could choose to be silent and just let “it” happen, or I could choose to do something that would reflect Christs love and the “reason for the season”.
Either way, everyone witness to this incident at the dollar store that day was going to remember it and possibly be talking about it for the rest of the day, week, or anytime it lent to their conversations with people in their lives. I could choose that they would remember this incident as - “Ha! you get what you deserve” attitude, a passive-aggressive attitude -”I wish somebody would have said something to that woman”, or I could defuse the anger and frustration with kindness so the incident, although frustrating, was remembered in a positive and caring attitude.
I looked at the manager, took a deep breath and removed my basket from the conveyor belt, then calmly said, “The gentleman in the back has one item and he can go ahead of me.” At those words all of the people in line responded by stepping aside, including the pushy lady, while the old man, beaming with amazement at being brought to the front of the line, slowly made his way to the front. The manager rang up his peanut brittle. The old man paid for his purchase, turned and thanked me and went happily on his way.
Then…an interesting thing happened; I watched as everyone in line, one after the other, stepped ahead of the woman who had pushed her way to the front. And as they did this, she retreated to the back of the line quietly and submissively without saying a word. It was as if peace and understanding was brought to this frustrating situation with a very small act of kindness.
I have often thought that the old man was an angel, unawares, sent there by God to teach me that “a kind word turns away strife.” Proverbs 15:1 I also think it was to show the others present that day that kindness brings peace and joy. And, isn’t that the “reason for the season”?
We have a choice every day, multiple times a day, to do the right thing… to bring peace to others, to not seek revenge, to not vindicate ourselves and our position through anger, selfishness, or the “need to be right”. The right thing isn’t always the easy thing nor does it always feel good at the time. I would have much rather barked back at that woman and embarrassed her. It would have felt good for the moment. However, I don’t think the pleasure I would have captured in that moment could equal the lasting impression on myself and others that was imparted through a gentle response that day.
You and I can choose to bring harmony to situations instead of strife, even when we are the ones who are being mistreated, thereby exemplifying the true meaning of Christmas. You see…kindness has the power to reform “Scrooge”.
“I heard the bells on Christmas day, their old familiar carols played and mild and sweet the words repeat of peace on earth, goodwill to men…”